There are many reasons why we look to reinvent ourselves. Sometimes it’s a life-changing event, like recovering from a major health threat or a divorce. Other times, we recognize a need for change because a major event like a birthday, retirement, or watching our kids leave for college making us empty nesters and gives us more time to ourselves. Often, we get motivated to make big changes based on watching a close friend or someone we admire makes a bold change in their lives that inspires us.
Sometimes your life can feel like an old pair of jeans that don’t fit anymore. You may wake up one day to discover that the life you’re leading just no longer fits. That your life is no longer joyful and fulfilling. A life-changing event or transition may prompt you to question whether your life matters. You’ve outgrown your life. You ask yourself the question, “What do I want to be when I grow up?” or ”Is this all there is?”
That’s what happened to me when I went through my divorce at 51. All of a sudden, I realized that everything that I had counted on for stability was gone and I was left picking up pieces of my life that I wasn’t sure I wanted to put back together. It was then that I realized that I had spent the last decade trying to be someone that I didn’t want to be anymore. I was trying to be what my wife wanted me to be, what my clients needed me to be, and what my friends expected me to be. It was exhausting, and it was affecting everything and everyone in my life. I realized that I was living my life based on a blueprint that I had created decades earlier but just wasn’t holding up to code anymore.
Once I began to pull myself together, I started looking inside for what I wanted my life to look and feel like. This led to an intense period of soul-searching about what my values were, where was I spiritually, and what and who I needed in my life to be happy. Once I got crystal clear about what I wanted, things started to get exciting again!
With this new insight, I crafted a new blueprint for a life that fits who I am and what I value. I spent about a year researching how others found their own personal success and happiness, I decided to go back to school in order to become a coach so that I could help others find their happiness as well.
I think one of the things that scare many people away from reinvention is the thought that they need to start from scratch with all the trials and tribulations that can come from that. There is some truth to that but in reality, the best way to reinvention is to take the best of you right now and leverage that into creating something even better. That means taking everything you’ve done up to now; your work and life experiences, your successes, your failures, your skillsets, and your network of friends, family, and business connections and using them as the foundation to making the changes you want to make.
Reinventing yourself can begin with small steps or with huge leaps of faith. Here are 4 tools to help you get started.
4 Reinvention Tools
1) Make a Skills List
This is where you take stock of all the skills you have learned in the last 20-40 years of adulthood.
There are tons of journals you can buy for this but I’m old school. I’m a fan of grabbing a pencil and a notebook and just writing down my ideas. Don’t worry about being perfect. In fact, this is a first draft so be messy, brainstorm, write, and erase. Take an evening when you can relax and just do a big brain dump of all the things, experiences, skills, and knowledge that you bring to the table. Got a degree in fine art? Write it down. Are you a stay-at-home mom who has learned how to prioritize? Write it down. Learned something important from making a huge mistake? Write it down. Fill up as many pages as you can until you have nothing left.
Once you have your list(s) put it in a safe place because you will use this later on.
2) Create a Bucket List
Like the previous list, this is going to be a fun brain dump. This time your goal is to write down anything or everything that you would like to do or achieve from here forward. Don’t limit yourself here. If you can think it, write it. Travel to exotic places, learn to play bass guitar, create your own non-profit? Yup! Start a restaurant, go back to college, write a book, be in an awesome relationship? Great! Write it down!
Remember when you were a kid? You didn’t compare the pros and cons of becoming an astronaut, a pro football player, or a rock star. You just made up your mind you wanted to do that, and it made perfect sense to you that it would happen. It's only in adulthood that we strangle ourselves with reasons why we can’t do things. Look at this assignment through the eyes of a child and have fun!
3) Create your dream life
Now it’s time to put your lists to use. The purpose of the previous two assignments is to get your brain unclogged and moving again. Clear out the attic a bit so that you can get creative because in order to reinvent yourself you need to be able to see the possibilities that are out there. More important you need to know in your heart that you can make those dreams a reality.
In this assignment, you’re going to create some goals to for your new future. In this assignment, you'll record what your life will be like in 3 years. Notice that I said will be not could be. I want you to write this future as if you were already living that life.
Start it by saying” Today I woke up and…” Describe what a day, week, and month in your life looks and feels like. Fill your page with as much detail as you can imagine. Use all of your senses. What does your new life look and feel like? What does it sound and smell like? How does living your dream life make you feel emotionally? What are you doing, what are you driving, what are you eating, who are you with, and what are you experiencing? What have you learned and why are you happier now?
At the end, describe what you are grateful for and what your life would have been like if you hadn’t decided to make changes that led you to your new life.
Then, take that list and tape it somewhere you will be likely to see and reread it often.
4) Take one step
The final step is this. Take all you have learned about yourself and take a step.
Don’t get all caught up with the pressure of reinventing your entire life in one week. It's all about movement and taking baby steps. It doesn’t matter what you do but that you do it.
Do something every day that will bring you a little closer to creating a life that makes you happy. Read a book, hire a coach, watch a YouTube video, start journaling, eat one less snack, do 5 sit-ups, reach out to a mentor, look at a college brochure, volunteer at the local shelter, adopt a pet, go to church, reach out to an old friend.
Look at your reinvention lists every day. It doesn’t matter what you do at first as long as you are doing something. Then at the end of the day, be grateful for the progress you have made. I swear, it’s the little things that changed my life and I know it will for you too!
Do something, have some fun, and know that there is nothing that can stand in your way f you want something badly enough.
Sometimes it’s just as simple as deciding to put on a new pair of pants.
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