Phobophobia: The fear of being afraid.
Have you ever given up on something that you wanted so badly just because you were afraid? What was it? To ask that awesome person out, start a new business, take a trip by yourself, have kids, try sushi, go back to school…
We’ve all done it.
The universal trigger for fear is the threat of harm, real or imagined. This threat can be to our physical, emotional, or psychological well-being. While there are certain things that trigger fear in most of us, we can learn to become afraid of nearly anything. Afraid to fail, afraid to succeed, afraid of being embarrassed, afraid of getting hurt, afraid of what others will think of you…
Did you know that most fears we experience were actually at one time a good thing? When you were a kid, you might have fallen off a ladder that your parent told you not to get on because you’ll get hurt. So, what did you do? You got up on the ladder, of course, fell off, and broke an ankle. You learned to be afraid of climbing on high things because you didn’t want to get hurt again and as a child that served you well.
But fast forward to today. The thought of looking out a window on the 23rd floor makes you sick to your stomach and the idea of a coast-to-coast flight makes you break out in a sweat. As a child, that fear helped keep you safe but as an adult, it just gets in your way, of well, everything…
About 6 years ago I went through a divorce. When the dust had settled, I found that I had become a fearful person. I was afraid of everything. It was so bad that it started interfering with my ability to work, socialize, and generally move forward. A friend of mine at the time double dared me to dig deep, figure out what my biggest fear was and face it as a challenge. For me, it was the fear of heights. Yes, I was that kid on the ladder. So, not one to fail a dare, I decided to do the most petrifying, gut-wrenching, I think I’m going to be sick thing I could think of.
I WENT SKYDIVING!
Long story, short. I did it, screamed in fear and excitement all the way down. I was on cloud nine so to speak. I was never more proud of myself ever! The next day thinking that I, being the courageous person that I now am, was going to climb up on my roof to remove a dead branch that had been there for about a year. I got the ladder out and after climbing about 15 steps I freaked and came right back down. That branch is still on my roof today.
So, what did I learn? That I may never get over my fear of heights completely, but I was able to break the hold that my fear had on my life. I also learned that when you push through something you’re scared of your character grows and your confidence grows as well. Every single time!
You don’t need to jump out of a perfectly good airplane to do this. Take baby steps but do something every day. Look someone in the eyes and say hi, be a guest for a day at your local gym, get a job in a field that you would like to own as a business, call the local college, and find out what all this nontraditional student stuff is all about.
Take one small step a day and a year from now who knows who you might be and what you could accomplish? As the saying goes” so far you’ve survived 100% of your worst days”.
If you’re interested, I would love to hear about your goals. Message me here or at
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I’m a certified Small Business Consultant, Life Coach, and Entrepreneur.
I’m passionate about helping you create a business and life where fun, security and financial freedom are the norms, not the exceptions.
Dave
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