There have been a lot of times in my life when there was an opportunity or problem where I needed to make a decision to change but didn’t. I’m not just talking about things I wanted to change or things that would be nice to change, but things I needed to change or there would be serious consequences to my inaction. So why wouldn’t I make that change? That just doesn’t make sense. Yet we’re all guilty of that at one time or another.
I recently met with a client who had an opportunity to join and grow her business. She was asked to partner alongside a leader and mentor her industry. The partnership meant acquiring a bigger customer base, an opportunity to move to a city that she loved, and a sizable raise in income. It was the perfect opportunity but… she keep coming up with reasons why she needed more time to “think about it”. Eventually, her opportunity disappeared. Time was a factor, and she lost the chance to someone who eagerly went for it! She was devastated!
Why does this happen?
We all know that change is often good and always inevitable. It's what keeps us growing and evolving as people. But sometimes, even when we know that we need or want to make a change, we can find ourselves resisting it. Why is that? At the heart of the issue are what I call Gremlins. Those things in the back of our head that love to make us doubt that we’re making the right decisions.
The 7 biggest gremlins you’re facing that are keeping you from making an important change in your life.
· Fear
· Perfectionism
· Confidence
· Motivation
· Knowledge
· Self-Belief
· Immediacy
Fear is the granddaddy of all gremlins. It usually shows up when we have to do something beyond our experience, or comfort zone. Fear can be paralyzing, and often prevents us from taking the first step toward change.
Sometimes you stay stuck only because being stuck and comfortable is way less scary than doing something you’ve never done before. This is where the saying “the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t”, saying comes from.
This fear can be of the unknown, failure, success, rejection, or embarrassment. When we’re afraid, our brains are triggered into a fight-or-flight response. This response creates a gremlin that can make it difficult to think clearly and make rational decisions. We develop fears as a means of protecting ourselves but that only works as long as those fears don’t keep you from achieving positive goals.
Change can be scary, but it is also essential for growth and development. It’s rarely easy but only by facing your fears and changing your mindset, can you overcome your gremlin and start living the life you want.
Perfectionism- A close second to Fear, this gremlin tells you that you’re not enough yet so you should hold off making big decisions until you are. The problem with this thought is how do we know what and when is enough?
Doing things to the best of our abilities is admirable but if it's keeping you from taking action on a needed change it can be debilitating! I often hear people state that they’ll make a change as soon as they learn more, or get more experience, or have a few more clients, or lose a few more pounds…
Perfectionism can cause paralysis by analysis, the inability to make a decision due to overthinking a problem. An example might be someone who is online for hours or days simply trying to decide on the best color for a new car purchase.
Perfectionist gremlins make people have unrealistic expectations of themselves. They may believe that they have to be perfect in order to be successful or liked so they delay making changes because of the fear of making the wrong choice. Procrastination is common with perfectionists because they don't know where to start or because they're overwhelmed by the thought of making a change.
Lack of Confidence- One of the ugliest and most difficult gremlins to get rid of there is. Many people will say that as soon as they get confident they’ll make a change. But that doesn’t really work because contrary to all the self-help books out there you can’t learn confidence. You can only gain confidence through the courage to try new things. Look to achieve the small successes because they are steps to even larger wins. The more success you have the more confidence you will gain. There’s no other way.
Lack of motivation- People are more likely to make changes if they’re motivated to do so. This motivation can come from a variety of sources, such as a desire to improve their health, their finances, or their career. If people don't have a strong enough motivation to change, they’re less likely to put in the effort required to make a change stick.
The best way to beat this Gremlin is to decide what you want to change and then decide WHY you want to change it. Having a rock solid WHY will keep you from straying from a path that you know is good for you.
Lack of knowledge - Sometimes, people don't make changes because they don't know what steps they to take, or where to find the information they need. If people don't have the knowledge they need to make a change, it's much more likely for them to keep the status quo.
There’s almost nothing that you can’t learn if you are determined to. Online classes, coaches, consultants, YouTube, mentorships, books... We live in a world where all knowledge is immediate and at our fingertips.
Lack of self-belief – A cousin to the confidence gremlin, this guy will do everything he can to make you feel like you’re not worthy of making the changes you want. If people don't believe that they’re capable of making a change, they are less likely to even try. Low self-esteem can be a major obstacle to change.
Please remember that you have lived through every day of your life to get where you are today, You’ve not only survived but thrived through some pretty rough times. Anyone who can get through what you have has what it takes to make even more positive changes in your life.
Change isn’t easy. It takes time, effort, and perseverance. But if you’re motivated to change, and you have the resources and support you need, you can achieve anything you set your mind to.
Immediacy - This gremlin is the master of procrastination. He shows up when there isn’t going to be an immediate effect that pushes you toward change.
Often change doesn’t happen for you because there isn’t an immediate cause and effect. If you touch a hot frying pan, it really hurts, and you move your hand immediately. If you begin walking across the street and you see a car coming at you fast, you step back to the curb, so you don’t get hit. You change your actions immediately! But what about a situation that is important but not yet vital? You can easily keep saying, “I’ll get to that someday“ because you have plenty of time… until you no longer do.
How many people, knowing that smoking isn’t good for them, wait to try and quit smoking only when their doctor tells them it’s now affecting their health and even then take their time trying to cut back? If you found out that just one more cigarette would kill you, I bet you would quit no matter what it takes this very moment! If you want change you need to create immediacy to that change.
Beware! Your Gremlins Are Watching!
I speak with many people who want to pursue their passion to start their own business. When I ask when it’s going to happen, they’ll often give me a million reasons why it hasn’t happened yet. That's their gremlins speaking!
Unfortunately, most people will continue to live their lives without making the changes necessary to be happy. It has nothing to do with their talents or capabilities. Their gremlins have taken control and blocked their dreams of fulfilling their full potential.
You want to start your own business…but you’re worried that you don’t have something valid to offer.
You want to go back to school… but that’s just for the young guys.
You want to reinvent your career…but you’re worried that you’re a one-hit-wonder.
How am I doing? Any of this hitting home?
Every time there’s a desire for change, you’re going to feel a barrier of protection rise up. It’s a natural instinct. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t go for it. It simply means that you’re on the edge of your comfort zone and with only one more step you’ll reach over to a world of new possibilities and growth!
Just because the gremlins are real, doesn’t mean you have to listen to them.
Building your own business is only one of many paths to financial freedom but if that’s a path that intrigues you, reach out to me, and let's see what being your boss would look like for you.
Message me HERE Let's Chat!
I’m a certified Small Business Consultant, Life Coach, and Entrepreneur and I want to help you create a business and life where fun, security, and financial freedom are the norms, not the exceptions.
Dave
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